Monday, March 29, 2010

A Blog Deferred

So I've been woefully behind on blogging. Sorry to the seven of you faithful onlookers. I can't even say that am back per se. Life gets in the way, or so it goes.

This highly anthologized poem is by the great Langston Hughes. Enjoy.

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore--
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over--
like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Nancy Drew


Ok. I LOVED Nancy Drew when I was young. I had a copy of the latest girl detective mystery with me at all times. I loved the original books and the more contemporary ones. Honestly, these books are what began my love affair with books in general. Plus, I also love poems with some moral conflict as this one seems to indicate in the end. Enjoy, Super Sleuths!

Nancy Drew
by Ron Koertge

Merely pretty, she made up for it with vim.
And she got to say things like, "But, gosh,
what if these plans should fall into the wrong
hands?" and it was pretty clear she didn't mean
plans for a party or a trip to the museum, but
something involving espionage and a Nazi or two.

In fact, the handsome exchange student turns
out to be a Fascist sympathizer. When he snatches
Nancy along with some blueprints, she knows he
has something more sinister in mind than kissing
her with his mouth open

Locked in the pantry of an abandoned farm house,
Nancy makes a radio out of a shoelace and a muffin.
Pretty soon the police show up, and everything's
hunky dory.

Nancy accepts their thanks, but she's subdued.
It's not like her to fall for a cad. Even as she plans
a short vacation to sort our her emotions she knows
there will be a suspicious waiter, a woman in a green
off the shoulder dress, and her very jittery husband.

Very well. But no more handsome boys like the last one:
the part in his hair that was sheer propulsion, that way
he had of lifting his eyes to hers over the custard,
those feelings that made her not want to be brave
confident and daring, polite, sensitive and caring.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Lydia Davis


Interesting little poem about how we define ourselves and how we are defined-- none of which can ever at any given time be completely true. Nonetheless, we go about our days assessing other people and giving worth to ourselves based on something like having a position at the university which is both revealing and superficial. As people, we are always sliding in and out of roles simultaneously, morphing between the truths of what it means to be you or me.



A Position at the University

by Lydia Davis


I think I know what sort of person I am. But then I think, But this stranger will imagine me quite otherwise when he or she hears this or that to my credit, for instance that I have a position at the university: the fact that I have a position at the university will appear to mean that I must be the sort of person who has a position at the university. But then I have to admit, with surprise, that, after all, it is true that I have a position at the university. And if it is true, then perhaps I really am the sort of person you imagine when you hear that a person has a position at the university. But, on the other hand, I know I am not the sort of person I imagine when I hear that a person has a position at the university. Then I see what the problem is: when others describe me this way, they appear to describe me completely, whereas in fact they do not describe me completely, and a complete description of me would include truths that seem quite incompatible with the fact that I have a position at the university.


For this poem and more go to the Poetry Foundation

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Shelley Puhak


Shelley Puhak and I studied together for a summer in Italy. She was working on her MFA from the University of New Orleans and I was working on my MA. Although, we've lost touch as the years have gone by, she kept me kind of sane while I was there, and I have a great respect for her talent. So, I was very pleased to see that she's gotten a book of poems published-- some of which we discussed in our creative writing workshop. Stalin in Aruba is being well-received and can be purchased through Black Lawrence Press or Shelley's website: http://www.shelleypuhak.com/. I have not received my own copy yet, but from what I gather and remember, many of these poems are dramatic monologues based (loosely?) on Russian history. I am including here a poem from the book which was first published in the Adirondack Review.
Support emerging poets, and buy the book!
WHAT THEY LEFT OUT OF MY OBITUARY
What They Left Out of My Obituary:
Father Pritikin, Dead at 85
You've heard of me: when I was seventeen
I threw the perfect pass, seventy yards,
breaking the school record. Those present said
the pigskin arched into the sun, but I
saw nothing, only that same sun spinning spots
while my breath's smoke pawed the cold.
You wouldn't have heard I spent my twenty-first
in a Guatemalan hut, shivering with heat,
brown-skinned women crowding me, muttering padre,
padre, and forcing me to drink hot tea.
Or that at seven, I found my mother's razor
in the bathtub nook and slipped my thumb across
the blade. As blood spilled forth I knew
nothing but dead leaves crisping underfoot.
When I was conceived, it was winter. That spring
the snow never melted, just crusted into ice.
My mother toe-heeled, toe-heeled as belly swelled,
or did she run, hoping to slip, to jar me loose?
At fourteen, I found freckles, light and flat,
across the clavicle of a girl on the field
hockey team, constellations spilling across bare
shoulders while the trees pulsed green.




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Friday, October 9, 2009

Kelly-Anne Riess


You never know how your life would have gone if you made different choices. Things always only continue to go forward.


If I Gave Up
by Kelly-Anne Riess

I would have followed you
to Edmonton
found a job waitressing babysitting

even though I have three degrees
a temporary fix
while you finished school
near mountains where you climb

I wish I'd known you
when you didn't know what you wanted
then maybe you would've followed me to the Peg
I could never live in Manitoba you said
would feel bad if I gave up
anything for you
so you ended it

even so you couldn't stay away
visited me every summer
until she moved in

after graduation you went up north
how's that better than Winnipeg
you work 20 days on
fly down to her on days off
it could be me

"If I Gave Up" by Kelly-Anne Riess, from To End a Conversation. © Thistledown Press Ltd., 2008. http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2009/10/11

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Friday, October 2, 2009

Your Catfish Friend


So, tomorrow night is a girls' night. The anticipation of girls' night, especially when the first cool fronts of fall have begun to blow through our cities is one of the few really childlike moments of stress-free (mostly stress-free) excitement that I have. In 2009, anyway. We will drink and eat and talk about everything from major works of literature to our long past, minor love affairs. Anyway, this one is for them. They know who they are.


Your Catfish Friend
by Richard Brautigan

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."

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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Apart (Les Separes)

I found this little gem by Louis Simpson and Marceline Desbordes-Valmore today and it kind of spoke to me. Some of the language seems a bit overdone, but then there are some very nice moments in this poem too, so why not share? Here it is in both the original French and the English translation.

PS I hate you blogspot for always screwing up the formatting.

Apart (Les Séparés)

by Louis Simpson and Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

Do not write. I am sad, and want my light put out.
Summers in your absence are as dark as a room.
I have closed my arms again. They must do without.
To knock at my heart is like knocking at a tomb.
Do not write!

Do not write. Let us learn to die, as best we may.
Did I love you? Ask God. Ask yourself. Do you know?
To hear that you love me, when you are far away,
Is like hearing from heaven and never to go.
Do not write!

Do not write. I fear you. I fear to remember,
For memory holds the voice I have often heard.
To the one who cannot drink, do not show water,
The beloved one's picture in the handwritten word.
Do not write!

Do not write those gentle words that I dare not see,
It seems that your voice is spreading them on my heart,
Across your smile, on fire, they appear to me,
It seems that a kiss is printing them on my heart.
Do not write!

Les SéparésN'écris pas. Je suis triste, et je voudrais m'éteindre.
Les beaux étés sans toi, c'est la nuit sans flambeau.
J'ai refermé mes bras qui ne peuvent t'atteindre,
Et frapper à mon coeur, c'est frapper au tombeau.
N'écris pas!
N'écris pas. N'apprenons qu'à mourir à nous-mêmes.
Ne demande qu'à Dieu . . . qu'à toi, si je t'aimais!
Au fond de ton absence écouter que tu m'aimes,
C'est entendre le ciel sans y monter jamais.
N'écris pas!
N'écris pas. Je te crains; j'ai peur de ma mémoire;
Elle a gardé ta voix qui m'appelle souvent.
Ne montre pas l'eau vive à qui ne peut la boire.
Une chère écriture est un portrait vivant.
N'écris pas!
N'écris pas ces doux mots que je n'ose plus lire:
Il semble que ta voix les répand sur mon coeur;
Que je les vois brûler à travers ton sourire;
Il semble qu'un baiser les empreint sur mon coeur.
N'écris pas!

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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Charles Jensen


I just discovered a poet named Charles Jensen and I am completely enamored of his writing. Insightful and rather dark, this guy is going places. I first read his work in The Collagist and then went in search of more. The poems in The Collagist are from an Jensen's book Nanopedia: The Smallest American Reference and I definitely encourage you to seek out the book or at least the excerpts included in The Collagist. The poem I have posted here, "Flowers," is from his book Living Things and first appeared in No Tell Motel. I hope you enjoy his work as much as I do!



Flowers
By Charles Jensen

Every room fills with buds
sprung open like snake heads.

The big, dumb eyes of the chrysanthemums
look jaundiced and sick.

The lilies
have nothing more to give and drop their petals
like small gloves.

Their sweet smell grows more fetid.
My head stays dizzy and numb.

Each day the house
takes on more death, more dying; more doomed flowers
go to pieces.

I want to know whose idea this was,
filling up death
with hundreds of smaller deaths.

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Monday, September 7, 2009

Eight Ball


"Eight Ball" is from Claudia Emerson's 2006 Pulitzer Prize winning book, Late Wife. This book was published by the LSU Press (my alma mater), and from what I understand had very few copies printed prior to winning the Pulitzer. It is an amazing collection though. Emerson writes with stark, crisp imagery. It's both accessible and smart. I highly suggest picking up a copy if you can find one.

Eight Ball
by Claudia Emerson

It was fifty cents a game
beneath exhausted ceiling fans,

the smoke's old spiral. Hooded lights
burned distant, dull. I was tired, but you

insisted on one more, so I chalked
the cue--the bored blue--broke, scratched.

It was always possible
for you to run the table, leave me

nothing. But I recall the easy
shot you missed, and then the way

we both studied, circling--keeping
what you had left me between us.

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Wednesday, August 26, 2009

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

As I scanned over the last couple of years of poems that I've posted I was surprised to see I'd never posted this. Prufrock is the much anthologized, possibly most perfect poem ever written in my opinion. There are so many beautiful lines in this poem: I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker, I have measured out my life on coffee spoons, and Do I dare/disturb the universe? Every time I read it, I find something new to love about it. Hopefully you will enjoy it or hate or feel something about it.


The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
by T. S. Eliot

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.


Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in on-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question …
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;

Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?

In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

. . . . .

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas
. . . . . .

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald]
brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts
that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . .

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or to,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old …
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

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Monday, August 17, 2009

The Intolerable Nature of Yearning

And now something from our sponsors... So, This is a Katie Kidder original. It was first published in Contrary Magazine in the fall of 2007 and is now here for your reading pleasure.

The Intolerable Nature of Yearning

I have been searching for you
as the mornings and the evenings scroll by in a mad collage of letters that want
to be your name.

I have looked in the phone book
and in Japanese. I found you thinly veiled in Freud's Illusion
just to lose you down a page of long division.
I watched my goldfish mouth you out a thousand times in spheres
that ascended slowly to the surface and then popped.
I have seen your name almost complete itself
in my husband's dirty socks.
I nearly licked you off
a whiskey label-- if I could swallow what you are
I would.

My friend, my friend who feels prettier
in her skull's long grin,
accused your terms of catching me like a fish
bone in the throat.

She laughed at me, smoked and puffed,
"A man who writes knows too much."*


*From Anne Sexton's "The Black Art"

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Trapped

This one of my favorite Charles Bukowski poems from one of my favorite books of poetry, "Love is a Dog from Hell." It is a difficult thing to want something from someone when you know it is simply not in their nature to ever give it to you.

trapped

don't undress my love
you might find a mannequin;
don't undress the mannequin
you might find
my love.

she's long ago
forgotten me.

she's trying on a new
hat
and looks more the
coquette
than ever.

she is a
child
and a mannequin
and
death.

I can't hate
that.

she didn't do
anything
unusual.

I only wanted her
to.

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Aunt Jennifer's Tigers by Adrienne Rich

Aunt Jennifer's tigers prance across a screen,
Bright topaz denizens of a world of green.
They do not fear the men beneath the tree;
They pace in sleek chivalric certainty.

Aunt Jennifer's fingers fluttering through her wool
Find even the ivory needle hard to pull.
The massive weight of Uncle's wedding band
Sits heavily upon Aunt Jennifer's hand.

When Aunt is dead, her terrified hands will lie
Still ringed with ordeals she was mastered by.
The tigers in the panel that she made
Will go on prancing, proud and unafraid.

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Friday, May 15, 2009

Make Yourself Invisible

So, I've been pretty lax about posting lately. I'd like to say it's because I'm so damn busy, but it's just because I haven't been motivated.

To kick off what I hope will be a prolific posting cycle, what could be better than Charles Simic? This one is from his book Walking the Black Cat. It is haunting and lovely. Like many of Simic's poems this one takes the reader back to WWII--a period of time that appears to have had a profound effect on his poetry. Simic lived in Europe during WWII and did not move to the United States until he was a teenager. This poem also features a dog, as do some of his other WWII poems, which I think, for Simic, symbolizes innocence, but perhaps you will want to investigate that yourself and make your own judgement. The idea of being/not being (as is apparent in the idea of invisibility, here) is a theme that is prevalent throughout Simic's body of work also. Very rich and complex work indeed.

Make Yourself Invisible

Drew islands with palm trees
My sister did.
The beaches were empty.
We wanted to lie on their hot sand
And drink lemonade.

Read your book and be quiet,
They yelled at us from the kitchen.

That spring we could smell lilacs
During the blackout.
Boom! Boom! The bombs fell
While a dog barked bravely
In someone's back yard.

Make yourself invisible,
The old witch said.
From now on, we were breadcrumbs
In a dark forest
Where the little red birds
Had just fallen silent.

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Monday, February 9, 2009

Time + Distance

Oh how I love a villanelle. I should just post the link to The Writer's Almanac, since that is wehare I am discovering all the best poems


Time + Distance
by Leslie MonsourThe Alarming Beauty of the Sky)

The tea you pour is black and strong.
It doesn't taste like tea to me;
I must have been away too long.

It isn't jasmine, spice, oolong;
It tastes like an apology—
This tea you pour, so black and strong.

Where's that old fork with the bent prong?
What happened to the hemlock tree?
Have I really been gone that long?

I think I hear the saddest song;
It has no words, no tune, no key.
The tea you pour is black and strong.

You're careful to say nothing wrong,
You seem too eager to agree...
Yes, I've been travelling far and long,
And now it's clear, I don't belong.

I watch you sash your robe, as we
sit, sipping tea that's black and strong.
I went away too far, too long.

"Time + Distance" by Leslie Monsour, from The Alarming Beauty of the Sky. © Red Hen Press, 2005. Reprinted with permission. (buy now)

http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2009/02/10

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Friday, January 9, 2009

Asking for Directions

Ah, this one makes me feel nostalgic.


Asking for Directions
by Linda Gregg

We could have been mistaken for a married couple
riding on the train from Manhattan to Chicago
that last time we were together. I remember
looking out the window and praising the beauty
of the ordinary: the in-between places, the world
with its back turned to us, the small neglected
stations of our history. I slept across your
chest and stomach without asking permission
because they were the last hours. There was
a smell to the sheepskin lining of your new
Chinese vest that I didn't recognize. I felt
it deliberately. I woke early and asked you
to come with me for coffee. You said, sleep more,
and I said we only had one hour and you came.
We didn't say much after that. In the station,
you took your things and handed me the vest,
then left as we had planned. So you would have
ten minutes to meet your family and leave.
I stood by the seat dazed by exhaustion
and the absoluteness of the end, so still I was
aware of myself breathing. I put on the vest
and my coat, got my bag and, turning, saw you
through the dirty window standing outside looking
up at me. We looked at each other without any
expression at all. Invisible, unnoticed, still.
That moment is what I will tell of as proof
that you loved me permanently. After that I was
a woman alone carrying her bag, asking a worker
which direction to walk to find a taxi.

"Asking for Directions" by Linda Gregg, from Chosen by the Lion. © Graywolf Press, 1994

http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2009/01/09

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Friday, September 26, 2008

After the Movie

I wanted to post something on friendship today because a buddy of mine is moving on to greener pastures and I'm a bit sad about it. I thought this was perfect. Enjoy.

As always I apologize for f-ing up Marie Howe's formatting. Blogger just doesn't respect poetic form. What can I say?


After the Movie
by Marie Howe

My friend Michael and I are walking home arguing about the movie.
He says that he believes a person can love someone
and still be able to murder that person.
I say, No, that's not love. That's attachment.
Michael says, No, that's love. You can love someone, then come to a day
when you're forced to think "it's him or me"
think "me" and kill him.
I say, Then it's not love anymore.
Michael says, It was love up to then though.
I say, Maybe we mean different things by the same word.
Michael says, Humans are complicated: love can exist even in the
murderous heart.
I say that what he might mean by love is desire.
Love is not a feeling, I say. And Michael says, Then what is it?
We're walking along West 16th Street—a clear unclouded night—and I hear my voice
repeating what I used to say to my husband: Love is action, I used to say
to him.
Simone Weil says that when you really love you are able to look at
someone you want to eat and not eat them.
Janis Joplin says, take another little piece of my heart now baby.
Meister Eckhardt says that as long as we love images we are doomed to
live in purgatory.
Michael and I stand on the corner of 6th Avenue saying goodnight.
I can't drink enough of the tangerine spritzer I've just bought—
again and again I bring the cold can to my mouth and suck the stuff from
the hole the flip top made.
What are you doing tomorrow? Michael says.
But what I think he's saying is "You are too strict. You are
a nun."
Then I think, Do I love Michael enough to allow him to think these things
of me even if he's not thinking them?
Above Manhattan, the moon wanes, and the sky turns clearer and colder.
Although the days, after the solstice, have started to lengthen,
we both know the winter has only begun.

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Monday, August 25, 2008

The Wrong Tormented Sea

This is a poem from my thesis director's new book Gallery of Ghosts. Pretty amazing I think. It seared me when I read it and made me sad. He was the last bastion of hope I had for finding meaning in one's profession. The formatting of this poem is a bit off because my blog does not like ragged beginnings. If you want to read it in its most authentic form, click on the bottom link or buy the book.

The Wrong Tormented Sea
By John Gery

I am as dumb as anyone, of course.
I just can’t accept it. Educate!
they cried back in the 60s, with all the force
of Magellan sailing through his strait,
he who discovered in the Phillipines
one head is worth one coconut.
I’ve never learned to dwell within my means.
Across my ship’s top deck I strut,
assuming immortality will follow
since I’ve surveyed the seas of Homer
and stomached all the Plato I could swallow,
bellying up amid the foam or,
when tossed in rougher waters, Aristotle.
I’ve stayed this course for years on end.
Yet aimless as a message in a bottle,
barely afloat, I can’t pretend
any longer I can see which horizon
my navigators had in mind,
nor that the craft a person lives and dies in
can outperform its paradigm.

http://unopress.uno.edu/Excerpts/galleryexcerpt.cfm

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Sunday, November 4, 2007

Little Miss Electra

This is the first poem I ever had published in respected journal. Kind of clunky in some parts now that I look back on it, but I think it's still a worthwhile read.

Little Miss Electra
by Katie Kidder

I like old guys, because they are gray where I am dyed.
Old men amusing me with motown Otis after hours
supposing I don't know that with the lights down and our faces numb from a cheap shiraz,
I look like that little Miss Rah-Rah they never got to palm
in the green glow of their daddies' dashboards.

I like old guys, because they have dyed where I will gray.
Old men with thighs that forgot to age, bellies that remembered,
and hindsight like the long impregnable stare of a fighter pilot.
They have seen wars, read books about wars,
waged little private wars of their own
back when I was still a part of my father's fight.

I like old guys because they will lose the gray before I dye.
Old men with crows' feet around the eyes and tobacco in their sighs
they are not the dad I knew when I was five.
Not that one with the farmer's tan and the cocaine fog,
and not the one when I was twenty-three, too drunk to know the difference
between his girlfriend's name and mine.

I like old guys because they do not care about the gray.
Old men as flawless as my father was when I was twelve and he was sober,
when we discussed our dreams over stewed meat and moon pies.
What would Jung say? What would Freud think?
Perfect, beautiful old men who know who I'm looking for,
but still, they let me look.

Originally published at the Exquisite Corpse

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Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Commitment

What better way to follow up a sweet love poem post than with a scathing indictment on commitment. (Which, happily, is not indicative of my current state of affairs.) This poem was written some years ago and was published originally in the Summer/Fall 2005 issue of So to Speak.
Happy reading.

Commitment
by Katie Kidder

I am home late from work again today.

The doorknob is greasy and unlocked.
All of the lights are on,
even the one over the oven that I never use.
Somewhere, water is running.

You are still here.

What have you been doing with my dog?
She’s running in circles.
There’s red velvet cake on her nose—
I was saving that cake for Saturday.

I can hear you upstairs.

You are either in my bed or on my computer.
“Hardcore.com isn’t what it looks like, honey.
I don’t know why Horny Housewives is highlighted.
I was looking at people with their eyes torn out ‘n stuff.”

You seem glad that I do not care either way.

Tonight while you are downstairs,
getting high, watching Return of the Jedi,
clipping your toenails on the coffee table,
opting not to bathe,

I will not ask you to leave.

I will crawl into the closet like a child,
where it is quiet and black
and envy the people on the Internet
with their eyes torn out.

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